Wednesday, December 23, 2015

My Journey Through Grief Continues

…and will really never end. Losing a child is not something a parent ever gets over. There is no magic moment when we say, "Hey, I'm done grieving!"  In fact, the same holds true in the loss of a parent or sibling or spouse. But I'm speaking about the loss of a child; specifically my loss of Amy.

Sorrow has become my constant companion and can take many forms. It can feel like a thousand pound weight on my chest that literally takes my breath away, at other times it’s been a shadow of darkness inhibiting daily life, or sometimes it's a hitch in my heart each time I remember her.  But it's there. Every day. Especially on birthdays and holidays.

Whatever shape grief is taking in your life, I understand it isn't pretty. I understand your need to withdraw. To run. To hide. Even if it’s all on the inside, because we must look normal on the outside. No one mentions our loss. No one says our daughters name. No one asks how we are doing. It’s been three years, after all. Surely we’ve gotten over that and moved on. Nope. Not gonna happen. Not in this life anyway.

So the reason I am writing this today is because I want you to know I’m thinking about you. I know how bad it hurts. And I’m hurting with you and for you. I’m acknowledging  the pain always present in your heart and mine. The next two days are going to be tough but we can make it. Because I know one thing to be true. We are parents who fought the fight for and with our child. We don’t give up when the going gets tough. We fight! With every breath in our grief stricken bodies, we fight. And we win. Every day that we get out of bed, put one foot in front of the other, and keep going, we win. We are warriors!

Here’s a few quotes I found on that I really like. –

"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, (protecting its sanity), covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But, it is never gone." — Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy

The best tribute you can make to a loved one is the life you live after the death.unknown  
Have courage for the great sorrows in life, and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.— Victor Hugo

My words probably aren’t eloquent as these others but they are just as heartfelt. I sincerely wish each one of you grieving parents (or spouse, sibling, child) a Blessed Christmas!

May the hope we have in Christ be alive in your hearts today and give you peace.

Rivendell Resources grants anyone the right to reprint this information without request for compensation so long as the copy is not used for profit and so long as this paragraph is reprinted in its entirety with any copied portion. For further information contact: GriefNet
Grace happens.


  1. A very meaningful post Anne, particularly for me as my husband was admitted to hospital this morning.

    1. Oh Barbara, I am sorry to hear this. I know he's been sick for a while. I'm praying for you both. May the Lord give you strength! Much love to you both, my Friend!

    2. Thank you Anne. He is a bit better today, but frail.

  2. Yes, that empty spot, the all-of-a-sudden unexpected memory ~ I am thankful for memories but I miss my hug and "Hel~lo, Mothe~r" in his special sing-songey way, my firstborn, my dear son ~ four and a half years is like a breeze ago. Always in my heart, dear Friend. I think of those I upheld and thankful that the Lord upholds me.
    Here is the song the Lord gave me years ago.

    To the Children of My Heart

    One day I'll know you
    And you'll know me

    One day I'll hold you
    And you'll hold me

    Until these days
    Have passed away

    Jesus knows you
    And He holds you

    ...And me

    I first got the melody which is like a nursery lullaby song; then the words. How great is our God! Our Redeemer, our Lord
    Kathleen ~ Lane Hill House

    1. Dear Kathleen! I so appreciate your comment. You know, you were one of the first in the blog world to reach out to me after I lost my Amy. I'm so grateful that the Lord brought us together and has created a deep friendship between the two of us. I was almost afraid my post was a bit dreary but I wanted it to be transparent. Loss is significant and it has lasting effects that can pop up at the strangest times, and the most normal times. The Lord brings us through on a daily basis. If it wasn't for Him, I would be a complete basket case. Love you, my friend and sister-in-Christ!

    2. Yes, I agree. Our Hope, the One who holds our hearts. I feel a deep connection to you too, Anne. Thank you. Kathleen


I am so delighted that you've taken time to come by and comment. Blessings for a joy-filled day!

1 Corinthians 1:3 ~ Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.